After is a Long Time – Leon

i lost my faith the way you lose someone, slowly, after death.
you stare at pictures, and you swear
you’ll never forget. but then you do.
not their name, not that.
but everything else.
the scent of their hair, the way they laughed,
the way their breath caught in their throat
every single time you kissed them in the kitchen.
the details of their face, that last day.
that last look in their eyes.
the way you needed them.
one day, you go to sleep without crying,
and you wake up filled with guilt.
but you keep on going,
and that is somehow the worst of all.


i think i was born with this gap in my ribs,
and that i was meant to be alone.
i don’t know how to tell you that i’ll always love you,
but you were never there.

Leon is a geeky queer feminist androgyne. They write speculative fiction centering queer characters. You can find them on Twitter @other_echoes, where they talk about gender, sexuality, fundamentalism, and Wonder Woman boxer briefs.